20

"You needent feel lonely, there's a beautiful boy somewhere in this city who is in love with you."

- Apart from that boy, no one has ever said anything to make me so happy so quickly.

19

The creative work of Sam Mountford, the Seven Deadly Sins.

Pride

Greed

Lust

Sloth

Gluttony

Envy

Wrath

18

17

Have you ever had something happen to you, or been in a situation, or waiting nervously for something and been so worried about it that you just pretend it's not there?
Like, you fully understand the seriousness of the whole thing, but it's so terrifying that you choose to somehow know it's there, yet take all emotion out of it to stop yourself from freaking out?
I think it's safe to say,

but I think I'll just carry on reassuring myself it's not an issue and won't turn into a much larger issue. If you see me at school or whereever and you feel like reminding me this, that would be great and appreciated a lot.

?

Dissapointment.
I didn't even know.
"you're not that stupid, don't lie" I. Didn't. Even. Know.
So I must be.
The daughter who you created is stupid. She doesn't deserve what she has but she's got it.
She thought she was doing okay.
Getting through it, being happier.
I guess not.
Maybe she really is the fuck up you always denied, and she always believed.
Only difference now is that there's no doubt.

It always hurt me to say "I hate you"
incase you didn't notice, I cry every time.
Because every time it's a lie.

[i am very dissapointed in you]
I don't actually know what I've done.
I just want to be happy. That requires you to be happy too.

But now here I am.
Make a final judgement.
I am your fucked up, passed out, drugged, non-virgin, failing, hard working, sensitive, sober, kind, generous, bitchy, loving daughter.
This is me, raw.
It doesn't get anymore real.

So tell me what I've done, or what I can do, or anything, but don't just say goodnight.

Too late.

15

this kind of shit happens all the time.

people overdose, get bashed up, hit by cars, trains.

but it's scary when it happens so close to where you live.

i didn't know the boy who died two streets away from my house a few hours ago,

but it still kills you a little bit on the inside.

i just went there. me and ryan were there just before.

sitting on the tracks

thinking about how where we were, was where some kid lost his innocent life the same day

please take care of yourselves.

i know people say that all the time

but today i've heard memories and stories about rape, suicide, drug addicts and now this.

all with people i know.

it's too much.

we're not safe, we've never safe

but if you take nothing from anyone's experiances,

please, for me and yourself and everyone you know,

look before you cross the road.

and stand behind the beepy gate at the station when it's closed.

just sometimes, obey the rules. because some of them aren't that stupid. and they're all there for a reason

14

you know what?
fuck beauty contests.

life is one fucking beauty contest after another.

school, then college, then work.. fuck that.

fuck the airforce academy.

if i want to fly,

i'll find a way to fly.